16/07/2010 dear diary

it has been couple of week since the incident happen. last weekend he told me, it wasnt him. he told her that he tried to protected me. when i heard whats going on.. my heart pounderd and my brain kept thinking... who?? he did told me this person didnt do it on purpose and dont even know what is the consequensist of what he did.



my friendship with him was thick and because she didnt say it properly i was misunderstood and my brain pointed at him.... he was and still is my friend. i felt bad and did apologise..



in other side.. keep thinking y the hell she wants to makes this friendship died... (i like him as my friend) next day after we had a good chat.. he said he resigned and move to overseas..
i did blame myself and feels bad.. im sad of not trusting him...

the friendship back where it was..

i HATE that place... im not very happy... the only things that stop me is holiday... if i dont think of the money... i will just being a bump and do nothing..

7/8/2010 Dear dairy

Dear diary

today boyfriend was driving me to work. i felt so lazy to go to work (like most of the time im on the way to work)... but i can b sure that this is different lazy.. more likely to be run away from the reality.

since what happen on weekend, this feeling grew (hmmm more likely to 85%) to hate this place.
its feels like wasting time.. just cant wait to go to holiday..

was thinking may be if i can make up something i can always quit working and do nothing for 3 months...
the things are i need money for rent, bills, groceries.. if i dont think that way.. i might go to agency and do casual.. work whenever i want...

i have to be strong for 3 months.. then im going to say good bye to this shit place..
i might lose lots of things.. they might took away from me.. (all the cross training might not be able to attent) really whats the point im still there..