Dear dairy 17/08/10

last month, i did something stupid.. and nearly cost me my job. i was stress for few days.. was sad for few weeks... but it took me 1 months to realise that a lot of people are care about me.. just now.. i went for drinks with couple of my friends..2 of them are leaving (going overseas).. as me and couple friends are separating he said to me not to do stupid things, i just replied him to be carefull, he replied that he concern about me more than about him.....

it took me 1 month, to realise that someone care about me and i was too absord about myself. it seems like i was in the pool of my own thought and i had been swimming there for awhile...
it touched me and in same time slapped me on my face..

someone else told me that i have to be strong, and that i am one tough cookie.. am i? he said that he believes in me and if im hold on i will get there...

i am one self-absord girl ever... it is not very hard to know who is in my back.. but i refuse to see it.

where i will be and what will i be.. in this stage im not sure yet.. but for them i will hold on and be patient..

i really greatfull... when i feel lonely God still send me good friends that always hold my hands when im fall... He send me good friends that will hug me while im cry....

My Theory of loving your own body

if you asked any girls in the world, do they love their body... it will be a hard question...

we girls.. love our shoes not our feet

love our headbands, not our hair

love our earings, not our ear

love our dresses, but not our body

no woman/girls will say to be a girl is easy to do. judgement come and go, and the harshes 1 is usually from..... guess who... girls.

boys might not notice that girls has fat chin, hair looks like poodle, the dress to big/tight for her.. its all girls... girls that notice....

girls will notice a smallest changes in your body.. like "wowww... u gain weight" when you actually had big lunch..... WTF.

I believe sometimes we girls does put dresses for other girls... (it is a hard world *somehow Disney song came up to my mine.... Weird...)

so what is the advantages from the girls saying that... Domination she feels better about it and to cover her self insecurities...

Seriously the stinking skinny girl look at other not so skinny girl in a second will think that she is fabulous then come for dinner or lunch finish probably the skinny girl will rush off to toilet and try to puke all the food she just ate.... (self punishment??)

So what should we girls do to love ourself?
1. Be real to urself
2. If you think something not rite do something about it... (i.e. good diet.. )
3. Knowledge is sexy ( we might not miss universe but we can hold conversation and do understand what the opposite said.. I always believe beauty can fade... Flown with the time...)

Of course there are lots of stuff you can do.. Since this is my theory the 3 above are good enough..

I'm not saying that I'm the greatest.. This is a long journey.. And I'm far from my destination.. But if we girls can hold together we will achieve lots together

Tell me ur theory how to love ur body?

MY Theory of bad service

I work in the hospitality industry, and i serve people with smile and love to help them. when i am out about to have a dinner or lunch in the restaurant, not that i expect people to serve me the same but at least FUCKIN SMILE and treat everybody the same. At the moment, it takes them 15 mins to get water. When i asked y take so long they just said sorry he was busy... So this place really shit service and no organisation... where is the team fuckin work in here....

This place called ribs and rumbs located in the homebus bay.. NOT RECOMMEND TO ANYONE

MY Theory of Undercover boss

i am working in hospitality industry.. it is very hard industry with low salary. they said it is about lifestyle. in this industry, i believe everybody have to work hard like a slave and act like a puppet. if you are a supervisor, just stand in the cashiering desk and look pretty.



i dont think hospitality need a bachelor for it.. if i am a prime minister, i will take hospitality course in tafe, highschool, even in university off. cos no one in this world want to be a waiter for their dream jobs. a lot of asian (just like me and my family), think that if we have (or their children have) a bachelor degree, as soon as they graduate they will be at least a supervisor.... BIG MISTAKE.



my theory of the place that im on at the moment... they taught us about human truth: to be in control, reach their potential, to be understood, to feel special, and to be in control. they do it.... i believe.. but they are only do it for their pets.. if you are not their pets... sorry dude we are in the same column.. the "left over" and the "filled in". "left over" and "filled in" is support people who is there for their convinient..



i watch undercover boss where CEO and HIGH MANAGER even an OWNER work for 1 week in their company but in each different place everday.. as entry level.. i really wish one of the high end manager of the company that im working with atm do that... not that they will be noticed... they could find someone to do that observation... to see a lot of people that not very happy in that place.

im putting this entry is not only because im upset with my job but also disappointed. my general manager just retired he mentioned that do not stop dreaming cause his dream actually happened. is he a pet? when is dreams become hard to be reached? when is the dream need to stop while they always see us as "filled in"?

My THEORY of someone with grazy respect

Last weekend was so shit but fun...
What happen?
Someone rudely asked me y i didnt do what she asked me to do, since im short tempered, i raised my voiced and said "i was busy. Ill do this soon.."
The end of the nite, she urged me to talk to me..
The talk start like this
She "i appriciated for you to do it, however i didnt apriciate how you replied me... You were raising your voiced and banging the juice.. Since im you supervisor i want you to respect me"
Me " (what u r maniac respect now??) well i didnt think i raised my voice"
Sharply she said " yes u were"
Me "well i dont like the way u asked me"
And then she kept saying " in the end of the day, im your supervisor and you have to respect me"

You know what make me feel shit the most was the part of " in the end of the day im your supervisor, you have to respect me"
If anyone said that to you, i'll give you few options:
• since this person i know only for 2 months, i will say " lets just to know each other" (keep the tone down even you want to say u shit ass..)
Or
• hey look, *u sh!twhole* u can assume anything i wont stop u... Respect is something u earn not instanly in there when u wear suit.

so look who ever you are if you wearing a suit and think that you are the top of everyone else just because you got the title, please think again.. you think u can hold people unfortunately everybody is LAUGHING AT YOU!!!!!!!

my COMMITMENT of changes

i have a commitment now...
i would like to change and i will do it gradually..
this week assignment : "new hair"
sunday is the "day" to do it

i want it from cute, child like to mature.... what ever it takes... perm, blond (not really).

any suggestion for next assignment to "change me"... im up to it....

16/07/2010 dear diary

it has been couple of week since the incident happen. last weekend he told me, it wasnt him. he told her that he tried to protected me. when i heard whats going on.. my heart pounderd and my brain kept thinking... who?? he did told me this person didnt do it on purpose and dont even know what is the consequensist of what he did.



my friendship with him was thick and because she didnt say it properly i was misunderstood and my brain pointed at him.... he was and still is my friend. i felt bad and did apologise..



in other side.. keep thinking y the hell she wants to makes this friendship died... (i like him as my friend) next day after we had a good chat.. he said he resigned and move to overseas..
i did blame myself and feels bad.. im sad of not trusting him...

the friendship back where it was..

i HATE that place... im not very happy... the only things that stop me is holiday... if i dont think of the money... i will just being a bump and do nothing..

My THEORY of friendship

what will you do to undo time? first, time cannot be undo (STUPID)... second life is go on.. third.... hmmm just read this entry


indeed there nothing can be done.. but there are things can be change... like

1. say sorry

2. buy me a present (LV handbag)

3. suck up to the HR ppl saying how good i am and take the shit warning away

4. buy me prada fairy bag

5. hmmm let me eat anything i want....

6. u become my slave (and ur first job is to iron and fold all my clothes)

Let me show you my Friendship Theory:

friendship start with a "hello, nice to meet you", day by day, what i called "i believe" on that person grew.. and in this come to positive or negative view. when positive grew from "i believe" it change to "i trust you". if it goes to negative well it goes to "i dont like you" and so on

sometimes "trust" been broken or cannot be meet in because of certain reason.. what they build up on you pretty much...."gone"

but friendship can grew apart when awarkness come and words fail come out.

when forgotten small mistake came out to surface..

what left are comforting word to yourself saying "i will be more careful next time"

it sad to lose a friend.. but need to be strong and move on
i believe when you think most of things fallen apart.. there are a small light waiting for you saying "im here in your every new day, and i will company you in every move, and i will keep you strong and give you hope"

this entry might continue...

7/8/2010 Dear dairy

Dear diary

today boyfriend was driving me to work. i felt so lazy to go to work (like most of the time im on the way to work)... but i can b sure that this is different lazy.. more likely to be run away from the reality.

since what happen on weekend, this feeling grew (hmmm more likely to 85%) to hate this place.
its feels like wasting time.. just cant wait to go to holiday..

was thinking may be if i can make up something i can always quit working and do nothing for 3 months...
the things are i need money for rent, bills, groceries.. if i dont think that way.. i might go to agency and do casual.. work whenever i want...

i have to be strong for 3 months.. then im going to say good bye to this shit place..
i might lose lots of things.. they might took away from me.. (all the cross training might not be able to attent) really whats the point im still there..

My THEORY of branded goods

how many fake handbags do you have? i got a few and yet my collection i believe will be grew more and more since the genuine handbag is extremely expensive.

i love this brand. it came from paris... and most of my friends and family who lives here have them.. but really 1 wallet can feed you 2 people in Tetsuya no matching wine with a bottle of wine, valet parking and $50.00 tips... guess what??? still got $30.00 left... is that ridiculeus???

for a wallet??


how much will you pay for a walletn or a purse?? really??? for me the max is $200.00 and i have been thinking for it for a while.. and i rarely use it...

i can understand for some ppl they might earning comfortable salary but it just hard to some other ppl. some other people are struggling to even provide food in the table.

i honestly tempted few times to buy genuine handbag (without my parent know it of course), but for some reason i tame that tempted to buy something else..

as far as i understand most of us are followers (including me). we would like to follow.. or more likely to be part of something. sometimes to be part of something need to have alot of sacrifice in this case.. money.. but there are other alternative without feel left out too.. let say fake stuff.. or even better to be yourself and be happy about who you are and what you got..

you do not need any genuine purse.. what is purse do to you?? give you statisfaction? give you sense that you are part of something?

just think abt it before you buy..

My THEORYof freedom of speech

if i said freedome of speech, what is come to your mind?



based on the wikipidia

freedom of speech is freedom of speak without censorship or limitation or both



i give you a quizz and you can tell me is it freedom of speech or not (and from that answer it will give me measurement what happening)

1. writing a blog and critisizes how politics are?

2. commented about jessica simpson being fat?

3. writing status using faul language and pointed finger on someone that not on circle friend?

My Theory of Disappointment (to a friend and myself)

have you ever be very disapointed to a friend. This friend is not even close. this person just a colleague from work. I nearly lose my job because he actually care about me. If in that case, i dont think i need his care.

synopsis:
i was angry and put immature status with some faul language and pointed finger to my other colleague. and this person actually read it and report it to my manager..
i was suspended and given first and last warning.. i still got the job with my heart broken and disapointed

is it because he care? or me being immature?

i did learn my mistake and this is definitely lesson for life. not only i got my warning. two other people might get into trouble (for commenting it)

i feel shit and disapointed to my colleague that report me on and definately feels shit to myself.

Theory of dieting

When u do diet.. U want to make a life time rite.. im a human and like ten thousands girl with low self esteem in body size i do tried lots of kind diets

its better for me to describe it for u:

1. lemon detox :

basically its lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and something else.. so basically it like "cleansing" your body and they said u can lose weight up to 10 kg in 1 week.. it works like this.. everytime you hungry.. u drink those shit.. first day u feel ok.. i get u day 3 u'll feel shit ass.. cos its really unhealty...

2. meat only (grilled)

only work in 1 week.. this is not a deliberatly doing.. just too lazy and just bought new griller.. after eat only meat.. feels so sick... and ofcourse my bladder didnt smooth as usual...

3.bulimia

try this.. this is very work for u that sick in the head. i manage to stop and realise that really bad habbit that i have....

4. juice diet

basically same like lemon detox but only juice.. since im too lazy make my own.. i bought juice bottle (boost juice too expensive to sometimes)

and many more...

at this time, media is doing a big things regarding dieting.. most of the time front cover (if there arent major in the world happen), saying how the celebrity losing weight, what they eat and what they do..
but too much information does make me confuse for what is the best diet to do. once this tv programme saying that too much citrucy food is not good for your teeth... one of the food recomended to prevent your teeth getting crook is CHOCOLATE CAKE.... WTF!!!!
so shit over loaded shit wrongfull information.
Now i just believe on myself.. portion control and better food... eat more vegies and fruit.. and more exercise...

believe on yourself is much more better that reading shit magazine or any overloaded information.. like atkin diet, dukan diet, flat belly diet...

introduction

This Blog is started just to voice my opinion..
not so much rule in this space:
1. no negative opinion
2. open minded needed
3. if you have any suggestion please shout out loud